I used to be a type A person (and still am!). You know the type. I'm that type of person who feels if I'm not doing something, I'm totally wasting time. I am that type of person who likes “to do lists.” I grew up being nurtured into believing that work is what life is all about. I can still hear my dad teaching us kids, “Work, work, work.” I was brought up by a society that thinks this way and reared up by teachers who give us greater worth as students when we perform well. I grew up thinking that my worth as a person is equal to the amount of work I put in. Worst of all, I am that type of person who gets really upset when those people around me are not doing their responsibilities as they are expected to. In short, I am often a miserable person. :-(
I am supposed to be a man of faith and yet because of this nature, prayer has been difficult for me at times because I feel it is getting in the way of me accomplishing something for the day. One time, I was invited to take a walk up the San Gabriel mountain trails and I felt like I was going to waste three hours of precious time. Hmmm… Three hours! That’s a lot of time wasted! List of things to do march one by one in my mind. I could study my bible. I could do laundry. I can do research for a sermon. I can study Spanish. I can study how to edit video movies.
Now that I am older, I started seeing how wrong I am when I have this attitude! Prayer is not wasted hours but invested hours. How many times in my life when it was through prayer that I found strength. Taking the time to walk to appreciate God’s beautiful creation is not a waste. So many occasions in my life, I found wisdom and peace through solitude and meditation. Taking time to press the “pause” button in life is important. Out of the silence in my life I hear the whispers of my GOD. Out of quiet comes the understanding that I have people who love me and that I have a wife and a family who care a lot. And best of all, I realize that I care for them too… and that what really matters is not how we perform or what we have accomplished. More important than performance is the relationship I have with my friends, my family and my God.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
" DO NOT LOOK BACK AND ASK WHY, LOOK FORWARD AND ASK WHY NOT"
I got this from a friend's email and it was anonymously submitted....
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A very valuable lesson to learn ...
Interesting quote from the movie "Why did I get married?"
In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT.
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and losing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not."
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.
Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.
You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . .."
Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.
Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!
That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.
But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
But I'm not just talking about marriage.
I'm talking about life!
About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children.
About your lifestyles.
Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"
I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?
The main message???
If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A very valuable lesson to learn ...
Interesting quote from the movie "Why did I get married?"
In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT.
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and losing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not."
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.
Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.
You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . .."
Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.
Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!
That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.
But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
But I'm not just talking about marriage.
I'm talking about life!
About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children.
About your lifestyles.
Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"
I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?
The main message???
If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Cholesterol and size 36
Few weeks ago, I had a meeting with a few of my High School friends in Las Vegas. Two of them I am very proud of. They are medical doctors. I believe we talked about almost anything and used the late hours enjoying ourselves, reminiscing the good old days. However late in the night, the topic was our health. And so, I took the opportunity to get some free health advice from them. After telling them about my low HDL (good cholesterol level), I was told that I should make sure I watch my diet and not to neglect my exercise. I also needed to decrease my waist line of 36 to 30. And so, with determination, I embarked on being more careful with what I eat. Two weeks have passed and am happy to report that I am still careful.
However, the funny thing happened the other night. While watching the television, a friend of mine opened a box of Cheese-it. You know that kind right? Hmmmm. Crackers that are so cheesy, and so yummy. Without realizing it, I extended my hand towards him asking for some. Though I was a few feet away, I could not resist the smell! Minutes passed and I realized I probably have eaten twenty pieces of cheese-it. How easy it is to be tempted.
I am sure you have experienced the same. Have you ever a seen a commercial on TV and watched a food advertisement on television and suddenly feeling hungry? A funny observation I have is that whenever I cough around people, suddenly, someone else cough after me. Somehow when you hear someone cough, you suddenly feel the need to clear your throat. In fact, just a second ago, as I was writing about clearing our throat, I coughed. The same thing happens when you watch someone release a big yawn and feel the urge to yawn yourself.
Our minds are tricky. The power of suggestion works mightily within our mind. We naturally move toward whatever our attention is focused on. The more we think about something, the stronger it takes hold of us, which is why the good book teaches that we should, "Run from anything that stimulates lusts…” It just shows that temptation is an elusive thing. We shouldn’t flirt with it. It is deceptive. On the outside it looks good, attractive and delicious like that cheese-it.
Here is a lesson I learned from these. Repeating, "I must stop eating too much . . . or stop smoking . . . or stop lusting" does not work well. It is actually a self-defeating strategy. It keeps me focused on what I don’t want. It's like declaring, "I'm never going to do what I am thinking.” I am setting myself up to repeat it because it is those things that we think and have a feeling for that we often end up doing.
Whether it is dieting that we want to do or stop smoking, we need to understand that temptation begins by capturing your attention. What gets our attention arouses our emotions. Emotions are powerful, too. They activate our behavior, and unknowingly, we act on what we feel. Hence, I ate the cheese-its because I was not careful. The cheesy smell tempted me and I fell for it. I did not guard my mind.
Not allowing temptation to begin is far more effective than fighting it. Once your mind is on something else, the temptation loses its power. So when temptation calls you on the phone, don't argue with it, just hang up! If it knocks on the door, don’t invite it for dinner. It is wiser to cut short the temptation in the early stage than wait when it has totally captivated you.
I know I can only speak for myself. But here is something I have learned. Oftentimes this means that it is wise to physically leave a tempting situation. If one has a problem with alcohol, it is better for that person to stay away from situations where alcohol is. If you are like me, whose weakness is a little cheesy cracker, stay away from it. Usually, I advise people to not run away from their problems to solve them. Oh well, this is one time it is okay to run away. There may be times when it is clever to get up and turn off the television set if it tempts you. It is often I tell my kids. Walk away from those who may be leading you to do just the wrong things. Be careful and not dwell on thoughts that may make you stumble. That elusive waist size of 30? I need more discipline to reign over my temptations to make it possible.
However, the funny thing happened the other night. While watching the television, a friend of mine opened a box of Cheese-it. You know that kind right? Hmmmm. Crackers that are so cheesy, and so yummy. Without realizing it, I extended my hand towards him asking for some. Though I was a few feet away, I could not resist the smell! Minutes passed and I realized I probably have eaten twenty pieces of cheese-it. How easy it is to be tempted.
I am sure you have experienced the same. Have you ever a seen a commercial on TV and watched a food advertisement on television and suddenly feeling hungry? A funny observation I have is that whenever I cough around people, suddenly, someone else cough after me. Somehow when you hear someone cough, you suddenly feel the need to clear your throat. In fact, just a second ago, as I was writing about clearing our throat, I coughed. The same thing happens when you watch someone release a big yawn and feel the urge to yawn yourself.
Our minds are tricky. The power of suggestion works mightily within our mind. We naturally move toward whatever our attention is focused on. The more we think about something, the stronger it takes hold of us, which is why the good book teaches that we should, "Run from anything that stimulates lusts…” It just shows that temptation is an elusive thing. We shouldn’t flirt with it. It is deceptive. On the outside it looks good, attractive and delicious like that cheese-it.
Here is a lesson I learned from these. Repeating, "I must stop eating too much . . . or stop smoking . . . or stop lusting" does not work well. It is actually a self-defeating strategy. It keeps me focused on what I don’t want. It's like declaring, "I'm never going to do what I am thinking.” I am setting myself up to repeat it because it is those things that we think and have a feeling for that we often end up doing.
Whether it is dieting that we want to do or stop smoking, we need to understand that temptation begins by capturing your attention. What gets our attention arouses our emotions. Emotions are powerful, too. They activate our behavior, and unknowingly, we act on what we feel. Hence, I ate the cheese-its because I was not careful. The cheesy smell tempted me and I fell for it. I did not guard my mind.
Not allowing temptation to begin is far more effective than fighting it. Once your mind is on something else, the temptation loses its power. So when temptation calls you on the phone, don't argue with it, just hang up! If it knocks on the door, don’t invite it for dinner. It is wiser to cut short the temptation in the early stage than wait when it has totally captivated you.
I know I can only speak for myself. But here is something I have learned. Oftentimes this means that it is wise to physically leave a tempting situation. If one has a problem with alcohol, it is better for that person to stay away from situations where alcohol is. If you are like me, whose weakness is a little cheesy cracker, stay away from it. Usually, I advise people to not run away from their problems to solve them. Oh well, this is one time it is okay to run away. There may be times when it is clever to get up and turn off the television set if it tempts you. It is often I tell my kids. Walk away from those who may be leading you to do just the wrong things. Be careful and not dwell on thoughts that may make you stumble. That elusive waist size of 30? I need more discipline to reign over my temptations to make it possible.
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