My Children

My oldest son Ben recently graduated from UCLA for his bachelor’s degree. He is in the process of looking for a job. It seems that he will end up working far from home. My second child, Carmel, has also finished a Licensed Vocational Nursing degree and is looking forward to finding a job in another state before she continues her studies. Abel is two years away from finishing his Civil Engineering degree. Hopefully he stays longer at home when he takes his graduate studies. In short, it is very possible that in two years time, three of my four children will be away from home.

Just like any parents, my wife and I are experiencing the fact that it is so difficult to let go. Our “babies” are leaving us! It was only like yesterday when we were all together. Memories of not long ago come to mind.

I remember the time when I used to take my kids to the rice fields back in the Philippines, jumping up and down on the haystack. I remember their laughs and giggles doing that. I remember when I used to carry them on my shoulder running around the house. I remember when I took Ben with me and climbed the highest mountain in the Philippines (Mt. Apo) in the island of Mindanao. It was a two day climb. Although he was only ten, yet he reached the top with other young children one hour ahead of us, older guys. I remember Carmel playing dress up with some friends. She and her friends transformed themselves into Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Oh yes, I remember when she was just a toddler, she poured soup in her dress pocket! Carmel was so full of life and passion. I remember Abel when he was only two years old and reciting the Alphabet from Z to A after we taught him A-Z. I remember at church, members where having this game called, "Make Abel smile." Because at that time, it was so tough to make him smile! Of course, today, Abel has one of the most beautiful smile.

And now they are mature, dependable and so passionate about their love of the Lord. But letting go is still difficult. Good thing, David the youngest, is only 14 and will stay with us a few more years.

Through all those years, my children have been a part of our lives. They have been with us doing ministry. They serve with the worship team, summer camps, vacation bible schools and missions trip all over the world. My wife and I are very proud of them all. Of course, we give God all the glory. Friends with little children often ask us, “What do you teach your kids?” and “how do you teach them?”
As I look back, I think there are so many important values we share but one that I feel very important is commitment. I often asked myself, “What do we want them to be committed to?” “How do we teach commitment?”

I believe that the best way to teach commitment to our children is to show them our own commitment. While we are so far away from perfect, here are a few things we feel are important.

• Commit ourselves to knowing and loving God .
• Commit ourselves to loving and serving other people. This includes the love commitment my wife and I have for each other.
• Commit ourselves to spiritual growth through bible study, prayer, attending church, etc.
• Commit ourselves to sharing the good news.

Jesus knew He wouldn't be with the disciples in the flesh forever. He knew at the Last Supper that He would be hanging on a cross within a few hours. This is what He prayed: "Now I am departing the world; I am leaving them behind and coming to You. Holy Father, keep them and care for them" (John 17:11).

Lesson: We are not going to be with our children forever. Parenting is a season. It isn't going to last forever, but it's never too late to start leading. You may be a grandparent now, but you can still be a spiritual leader to those around you. You can echo Jesus' prayer, saying, "Father, before I depart the world, help me to impart godly truths to my children and grandchildren. Before they go on their own, guide me to be a good steward of those you put in my care. We give them back to you, knowing you have always and will always care for them."